Why Communication Is So Damn Tough in Relationships

I’m gonna upset a lot of people with this one. So, if you’re not up for some tough love and straight talk, kindly scroll.

Hi, I’m Dr. Elena Sherwood, a relationship coach with over 35 years of experience as a couples therapist. Today, I’m here to share relationship advice that challenges you to shift your perspective just a bit.

But if you’re here to actually figure out why communication is so damn hard in your relationship, keep reading.

Because the number one reason couples struggle to communicate boils down to this:

🔹 Some partners CAN communicate, but don’t.
🔹 Some partners WON’T communicate, even though they can.

And here’s the part you won’t like:

🔹 Sometimes you won’t because of THEM, sometimes they won’t because of YOU.

Yeah, I said it, you are part of the equation.

It’s possible that, somewhere along the way—through stress, resentment, or just life happening—you’ve stopped being interested in what they have to say. Maybe you shut them down without realizing it. Maybe they’ve learned that opening up leads to conflict, so they don’t bother anymore.

See the circle?

Who started the “won’t” is like the chicken and the egg—it doesn’t really matter. What matters is whether you’re willing to break the cycle.

And here’s the great news:

We live in a time where one or two clicks can get you access to every communication tool under the sun. You can learn, grow, and shift the dynamic—if you want to.

And that’s what I want for you.

I want you to want to. I want you to have the best damn, healthy, loving relationship you deserve. I want you to wake up every morning loving your life, or at least feeling calm and at peace instead of walking on eggshells.

💡 The reality? All of us CAN learn how. Communication isn’t a personality trait—it’s a skill. The question isn’t whether your partner can communicate.

It’s whether they will. And whether you will, too.

I say all this with love.

Now, what are you gonna do with that?

Not sure where to start, ask me any question and I’ll do what I can to nudge you forward.

You’ve got this!